STUFers gotta STUF

Have I mentioned how much I hate the phrase "Haters gotta hate"? Well of course they do! That's basic linguistics! Lovers gotta love. Drivers gotta drive. Lepers gotta lep. As far a annoying comments go, this one ties with "LOL" all by itself (adding a smiley emoticon still counts all by itself).

Don't go away mad...

Huffington Post has the exclusive on Ann Coulter's controversal tweet! What is Ann Coulter's controversal tweet? Who cares?  Ann Coulter is a pathetic has-been begging for attention. Her shtick was old and boring four years ago. She spends her days wandering the wingnut welfare circuit, trying to convince herself that she's relevant. The only controversy about anything she says is, why is the Huffington Post promoting her? Surely HP has more important things to report on, such as the daring dress that some Kardasian or another wore six years ago at the opening of some now out-of-business restaurant. A waste-of-time news venue wasting time on a waste-of-time mock pundit. It's a match made in vacuity heaven.

And, for the record, I still don't have any pictures of Ann Coulter nude.

No Charlie Sheen here

It has come to my attention that some blogs are filling their pages with gratuitous mentions of Charlie Sheen and his problems with sex, drugs, videos, and more Charlie Sheen just to pump up their traffic by luring in purient readers who just can't get enough of the latest, exclusive Charlie Sheen scandal news. Well, you won't see this blog lowering itself to that level. In fact, I won't even mention the name of Charlie Sheen on this blog. So, if you want exclusive interviews or hot videos of Charlie Sheen and two women, you'll have to look somewhere else.

She's ba-aaack

It appears that Ann Coulter is doing the talk shows, peddling yet another badly researched, libelous screed about how bad liberals are and inciting violence against non-Ann women. As usual she's using her platform to make outrageous statements that get her more undeserved publicity. I have to giver credit: the lady can play the television news media like a violin. No matter how many times they say they won't be fooled again, they line up like jonesing drug addicts every time she crooks an unnaturally long finger in their direction. This is probably a good time reiterate that I do not have nude photos of Ann Coulter and if I did have pictures of Ann Coulter naked I wouldn't post them on my site for free. If you want nude pics of Ann Coulter, you'll have to look elsewhere. Oh, and for the record, I also do not have naked photos or nude video of Sarah Palin nude (XXX).

Nude Sarah Palin

SZ over at World o' Crap has a post up with the above title but no nude photos of Sarah Palin. It's a cheap--and, frankly, sad--attempt to boost her Google profile and raise funds for her home for wayward kittens. What's next? Will she and her blogging minions stoop to planting references to Sarah Palin porn videos on her blog? Cheap Sarah Palin porn DVDs? Naked Sarah Palin calendar shots? Or exclusive photos of Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber's secret love nest? Fortunately, you'll never see archy use such transparent tricks. Neither will I use references to nude photos of Ann Coulter to boost my traffic. I'm just that kind of guy.

Fun searches

I just checked some of my statistics. The search terms showed the usual number of College Republicans coming here looking for nude photos of Ann Coulter. But today I found a new one: "malkin brain-injury." I don't believe I've ever posted on that topic, but I have thought it. Archy was the number three return for that one.

I'm number one and you are, too

David Ng at The World's Fair has created a great meme. He calls it the "I rank number one on Google" meme. The rules are much simpler than the last meme. Find five statements, which when typed into Google, will return your blog as the number one hit.

So far I have found four on archy but, taken together, I think they display such synergistic power that they are worth at least six and a third.

1. "Nazi Yeti in flying saucers"
   
2. "Nazi mammoth"
   
3. "frozen mammoth penis"
   
4. "nude photos of Ann Coulter"

As you can see, I run a classy and very intellectual blog.

I am rather cheesed to find out that I am not number one for "balloonosphere" since I invented that word.

So, dear friends, what search terms give you a number one?

No nude photos of Ann Coulter here

Looking at my site statistics a few minutes ago, I noticed an uptick in people coming to this site on some variation of the search terms "nude photos of Ann Coulter." That can only mean one thing, the news directors of America have lost their collective senses and are once again letting that silly, self-promoting performance artist clutter our air waves. And, ckecking Google News, I confirmed my suspicions: Ann is on a book tour. Last night she was on Hannity & Colmes defending the use of ethnic slurs for Arabs ("they started it").

For all of the College Republicans who have come here hoping to view the unadorned body of a woman old enough to be their mother, I'll repeat my policy. I don't have any pictures of Ann Coulter nude and I would not publish nude photos of Ann Coulter even if I did have them. Although I know that even the rumor that I have nude photos of Ann Coulter might be a boon to site traffic, I would never be so crass as to take advantage of that by repeating the phrases "nude photos of Ann Coulter" or "Ann Coulter nude." That would be wrong.