Thursday, August 30, 2012

So easy even a woman can understand it

Now, if only there was a driver's manual simple enough for girls, I'd let her learn how to drive.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Credit and blame where they are due

Everyone make note of this, I'm going to say something nice about Republicans and criticize some liberals.

I think the Republican convention organizers deserve credit for responding to the peanut throwing incident by throwing the offenders out and the the RNC deserves credit for issuing a statement condemning the act.

I also think a lot of liberal tweeters and bloggers should be ashamed of themselves for all the fat jokes that flew around during Chris Christie's speech last night. Was that the only thing you could think of to criticize? Did you even listen to him? We should be better than that.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

A question

I've been working for almost forty years.
I've had over thirty jobs.
From Reagan to Bush II, none of the attempts at trickle down economics has ever trickled a dollar down to me.
None of the tax breaks for job creators has ever created a job for me.
I'm not alone.
Why should I think it will work this time?

I'm sure this would have been more effective if I had posted a shady picture of me with the message written on a piece of cardboard. I'm just not that photogenic.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

On this day

Today is the 238th day of the year. There are 121 shopping days until Christmas. It is the feast day of St. Genisius, patron of clowns and torture victims. On this day in history Pliny the Elder died in the eruption of Vesuvius. Genghis Khan died on his wedding bed. Galileo Galilei demonstrated his first telesduringcope. The Pirate Henry Morgan died. The New York Sun began what would become known as the Great Moon Hoax. The Polish-Soviet War ended, twelve days after it began, with a decisive Polish victory. General Dietrich von Choltitz defied Hitler's orders by surrendering Paris to the Allies without first burning it to the ground. Voyager 2 flew past Saturn. Ivan the Terrible was born on this day as were Johann Gottfried von Herder, Mad Ludwig of Bavaria, Walt Kelly, Sean Connery, Elvis Costello...

...and me.

Update: And Neil Armstrong just died.

Friday, August 17, 2012

We the People...

Almost every day, I see signs and Facebook posts by liberals, conservatives, libertarians, secularists, and religious right Christians claiming to speak for We the People. We can't all be the people can we? That would mean America belongs to all of us and that's just crazy talk.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

More news for your tea party uncle

No doubt, your conservative uncle, like most movement conservatives and Fox viewers, has a stereotypical liberal in his mind that bears very little resemblance to you or anyone you know. Here are some amazing facts to roll out at your next family gathering that just might blow his mind:
  • Most of us are Christians. Many are members of evangelical churches.
  • We, too, believe in the Constitution.
  • Many of us live in "real" America.
  • Most of us are not vegetarians . I, for one, enjoy a large slab of bloody, red meat, fresh off the grill.
  • Most of us "support the troops" and think it's a national scandal that our vets don't get the support they deserve.
  • Most of us were never hippies. In fact, most younger liberals agree with you in loathing hippies.
  • Many of us believe in the death penalty for certain crimes.
  • For most of us, the only crystals in our homes are the glasses we bring out when we have guests.
  • Many of us do not drink lattes.
  • We frequently disagree with Obama and do not think mere criticism automatically makes you a racist.
  • None of us want taxes for their own sake. We just want the government to pay for itself instead of creating a massive debt.
  • Most of us do not bicycle to work and do not own electric cars.
  • Many of us do own guns, are proficient with them, and hunt.
  • We like America and do not think its history was all bad.
  • We do not like terrorists.
  • We do not think terrorism can be cured by hugs.
  • Like you, we also dislike boy bands.
  • Many of us like fast food.
  • None of us want to make everyone dependendent on the government.
  • Most of us do not hate the police. We hate bad policemen and the police being run or used badly.
  • Most of us do not think Obama is very liberal.
  • We do not think the mainstream media is on our side (or your side). We think it's cowardly and incompetent.
  • Most of us are not pacifists.
  • Almost none of us are Communists and none of us are Fascists, which isn't even remotely the same thing.
  • We do not think our shit smells better than yours. Shit is shit.

The real Romney

We all know that Romney has no guts and that his only real objective is to take care of the interest of his class. He deeply believes and is strongly in favor of whatever his current audience wants to hear. There is actually a certain advantage to his gutlessness (that wouldn't make a bad title for him). Everyone who hears him can assume that he didn't mean it when he was talking to those people; the real Romney is the one who said what I wanted to hear. In practice, this nonconfrontational attitude means President Romney would do whatever the most powerful voice within the range of his hearing wants him to do. That voice is the congressional Republican caucus. In his appointments, President Romney will send over whichever candidates Mitch McConnell tells him to. As for the rest of it--well, there are factions within the GOP; which one will he listen to the most often? Today he let us know. Today, when he "accidenally" introduced Paul Ryan as the "next President of the United States," he was finally telling the truth.

I'm ba-aack

I guess it's time to start blogging again. No, the book isn't finished. No, we haven't sold he house. Yes, I'm anxious and depressed. We have about one more month before we have to go into bankruptcy, forclosure, or both. Blah, blah, blah. You don't really need to hear all that; I'm sure your life is scary and crappy enough without me dumping on you. But, I'm back to entertain and provoke you with my unique brand of grumpy commentary and interesting tidbits of science and history. Whatever.