Showing posts with label You have got to be kidding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You have got to be kidding. Show all posts

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The worst possible example


The Washington pundit class is in love with the idea of bipartisanship and compromise for their own sake. That is, they don't really care what actual laws are passed or policies adopted as long as they represent bipartisanship. If you were going to argue for this, you would probably look for good examples from the past of both sides giving a little to move forward on an important issue. But, what if you were looking for a bad example? What if you wanted an example of compromise that brought shame on the American form of government? What would be your choice as the worst possible example of compromise and bipartisanship in American history? It might be this one:
One instance of constitutional compromise was the agreement to count three-fifths of the slave population for purposes of state representation in Congress. Southern delegates wanted to count the whole slave population, which would have given the South greater influence over national policy. Northern delegates argued that slaves should not be counted at all, because they had no vote. As the price for achieving the ultimate aim of the Constitution—"to form a more perfect union"—the two sides compromised on this immediate issue of how to count slaves in the new nation. Pragmatic half-victories kept in view the higher aspiration of drawing the country more closely together. 
Some might suggest that the constitutional compromise reached for the lowest common denominator—for the barest minimum value on which both sides could agree. I rather think something different happened. Both sides found a way to temper ideology and continue working toward the highest aspiration they both shared—the aspiration to form a more perfect union. They set their sights higher, not lower, in order to identify their common goal and keep moving toward it.
James Wagner, the President of Emory University in Atlanta, wrote those words in an editorial entitled "As American as … Compromise" for the university's alumni magazine. I'm not sure when the winter issue of Emory Magazine began hitting people's mailboxes, it could have been months ago because no one ever reads these Letter from the President columns. But it began getting attention yesterday, including attention from the Black Student Alliance.

For those who aren't sure what he's talking about, this is what is usually called the "Three-Fifths Compromise" in the US Constitution. The Constitution requires the federal government to take a census every ten years and to use the census numbers to apportion seats in the House of Representatives. Each state is told how many seats they get and the states draw their own congressional districts according to their own processes. That sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? Well it wasn't. The Southern states had, within their boundaries, a huge number of people who were not allowed to vote, who weren't really citizens, African slaves. The Northern states had a much larger population of real citizens than the South. The Southern delegates to the Constitutional Convention assumed that the main divisions in the new congress would be regional and wanted more power for their region. They demanded that slaves be counted in the apportioning of House seats, giving them more power in Congress and in the Electoral College. Northern delegated argued that the apportioning of House seats should reflect the number of voters in each state. Eventually, a compromise was reached allowing the Southern states to claim three-fifths of the number of slaves in each state for the purpose of apportioning of House seats. Wagner was holding up one of the most shameful examples of compromise in American history as a shining example of doing things right.

There is one popular misconception about the "Three-Fifths Compromise" and that is that it implied that African slaves were three-fifths of a person. This is often brought up as a grave injustice against the ancestors of African-Americans. That would have been an improvement of their lot or, at least, a concession that they were entitled to a certain amount of human dignity. Prior to the Civil War, slaves were not people at all; they were property; they were zero-fifths of a person. The only concessions that African slaves were even marginally human was their forced conversion to Christianity and the fact that laws were eventually passed making it illegal to kill a slave without first conducting a sham trial.

I imagine that when President Wagner arrives in his office Tuesday morning he will find several unpleasant message waiting for him including requests for interviews from local and even national media. Someone from the University's press office is probably already spoiling his three-day weekend. What will happen next is that he will issue a standard non-apology apology. He's sorry IF anyone took offense. He won't admit he was wrong to say it; he's just sorry he created a shit-storm. He'll call it a "misstatement," meaning his argument is valid, he just chose a bad example.

So, what was his point? It's hard to tell because, even without that horrifying example, its a really badly written column. He starts out saying some "distinguished public servant," speaking on a forum last Fall, mentioned political polarization, the Constitution, and compromise. He them pulls out the three-fifth compromise as a shining example that we should try to emulate. Then he mentions the fiscal debate. He's halfway through the column now. This, he says is just like trying to consider different view points in a university. Then something about teaching liberal arts classes at a research university. Maybe he's arguing for creationism in the biology classes. It's impossible to tell what compromise he's talking about.

I cannot imagine anyone defending this mess except those who think every word in the constitution was dictated by God and white supremacists (just to be clear, I'm not saying the two are the same). In any case, It's not going to be fun to be James Wagner for the next week or so. He'll be lucky to get out of this with his job.

Update: And he's already issued the non-apology apology: " Certainly, I do not consider slavery anything but heinous, repulsive, repugnant, and inhuman. I should have stated that fact clearly in my essay. I am sorry for the hurt caused by not communicating more clearly my own beliefs. To those hurt or confused by my clumsiness and insensitivity, please forgive me."

Monday, September 10, 2012

About that Congressional Reform Act

It's bullshit.

 Lately, some of my more conservative and non-political friends have been circulating this silly amendment proposal.


It has been around since at least 2009 and pops up again every few months. Some versions include term limits and the claim that kids of congresscritters don't have to pay back their student loans. The lat one I received had a prologue about how the 26th amendment was passed in just a few months and how, if you just sent it twenty of your friends, it will be law before the next election. The latest version says Warren Buffet proposed it. Warren Bufet did not propose it. I'm not sure where it came from, but it's made up of a mish-mash of misconceptions, outdated information, and just plain weirdness.
  1. "No tenure" What does that mean? Congress doesn't have tenure. We can vote them out at any time, but we need to take responsibility for our own votes and do it if we don't like what they are doing. Democracy belongs to those who show up.
  2. Congressional pay ends when the job ends, just like any job.
  3. Members of Congress do pay into Social Security. They have since 1984.
  4. Repeat. They do participate in Social Security. Just like everyone else (except the very rich).
  5. Congress participates in the same retirement program that other federal employees do. It's based on a formula of years served and pay grade. There is no special fund.
  6. According to the 27th Amendment, Congress cannot vote itself a raise. What it can do is vote the next congress a raise. If we don't like it, we have the responsibility to let them know our disapproval, either by voting them out or by deluging them with letters, petitions, and phone calls. Since the 27th Amendment was pased, Congress has voted raises roughly once evry four years.
  7. As with their retirement program, Congress participates in the same program as other civil servants. They don't have a special program of their own and they do have to pay into the program.
  8. Congress does have to abide by the laws they pass. Some version say they are specifically immune to sexual harrassment laws. They are not. Do you think that Congress could pass a bill saying rape or murder is a crime unless one of us does it? Of course not. And if they tried they would be laughed out of the Supreme Court.
  9. This line is in every version of this that I have seen, and I have no idea what the original author had in mind here. Does this mean that members of Congress can't buy a house or car or get married? Those are all contracts.
98% of you won't forward this. You suck.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Don't go away mad...


Huffington Post has the exclusive on Ann Coulter's controversal tweet! What is Ann Coulter's controversal tweet? Who cares?  Ann Coulter is a pathetic has-been begging for attention. Her shtick was old and boring four years ago. She spends her days wandering the wingnut welfare circuit, trying to convince herself that she's relevant. The only controversy about anything she says is, why is the Huffington Post promoting her? Surely HP has more important things to report on, such as the daring dress that some Kardasian or another wore six years ago at the opening of some now out-of-business restaurant. A waste-of-time news venue wasting time on a waste-of-time mock pundit. It's a match made in vacuity heaven.

And, for the record, I still don't have any pictures of Ann Coulter nude.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

So easy even a woman can understand it


Now, if only there was a driver's manual simple enough for girls, I'd let her learn how to drive.