Saturday, August 11, 2012

More news for your tea party uncle

No doubt, your conservative uncle, like most movement conservatives and Fox viewers, has a stereotypical liberal in his mind that bears very little resemblance to you or anyone you know. Here are some amazing facts to roll out at your next family gathering that just might blow his mind:
  • Most of us are Christians. Many are members of evangelical churches.
  • We, too, believe in the Constitution.
  • Many of us live in "real" America.
  • Most of us are not vegetarians . I, for one, enjoy a large slab of bloody, red meat, fresh off the grill.
  • Most of us "support the troops" and think it's a national scandal that our vets don't get the support they deserve.
  • Most of us were never hippies. In fact, most younger liberals agree with you in loathing hippies.
  • Many of us believe in the death penalty for certain crimes.
  • For most of us, the only crystals in our homes are the glasses we bring out when we have guests.
  • Many of us do not drink lattes.
  • We frequently disagree with Obama and do not think mere criticism automatically makes you a racist.
  • None of us want taxes for their own sake. We just want the government to pay for itself instead of creating a massive debt.
  • Most of us do not bicycle to work and do not own electric cars.
  • Many of us do own guns, are proficient with them, and hunt.
  • We like America and do not think its history was all bad.
  • We do not like terrorists.
  • We do not think terrorism can be cured by hugs.
  • Like you, we also dislike boy bands.
  • Many of us like fast food.
  • None of us want to make everyone dependendent on the government.
  • Most of us do not hate the police. We hate bad policemen and the police being run or used badly.
  • Most of us do not think Obama is very liberal.
  • We do not think the mainstream media is on our side (or your side). We think it's cowardly and incompetent.
  • Most of us are not pacifists.
  • Almost none of us are Communists and none of us are Fascists, which isn't even remotely the same thing.
  • We do not think our shit smells better than yours. Shit is shit.

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