Why does Mel Tormé hate veterans?

'Tis the season of inescapable Christmas songs and one of the most inescapable is Mel Tormé's "The Christmas Song." For the moment I'll leave aside the sheer arrogance of him claiming to have written "THE Christmas Song" and not "A Christmas Song." My beef is the callous way Mel snubs America's heroes in uniform. He tried to hide his disdain by putting it at the end of the song, but that just makes it more memorable. Professional tip Mel: If you want to hide something, hide in the middle, not at the end where it's the freshest thing in people's memories.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two.
Although it's been said many times
Many ways, Merry Christmas to you.

Why do you only wish Merry Christmas to people of those ages? Why not everyone? Do you know who's over ninety-two, Mel? The Greatest Generation, that's who? They fought WWII so you could have the freedom to write songs about whatever you want. And this is how you repay them. For shame, Mel, for shame.

And babies. Why do you hate babies who aren't even one year old? Christmas is for the children, Mel. It's toys and bright lights and baby Jesus. Some of those babies are going to grow up to be veterans. Is that why you hate them?

America demands answers, Mel. And don't try pulling that stale "I'm dead so you can't do anything to me" routine. America is a country of problem solvers. If we want answers, we'll get answers. We'll see whose chestnuts end up roasting on an open fire.

The Neverending War on Christmas

Mehitabel the cat has come down to terrorize this quaint Dickensian village.


I'M UNDER UR TREE DESTROIN' UR VILLIJ

The next right wing victory

They tried to warn us!!! The Muslim usurper in the White House is planning to abolish Christmas!!!1! The only thing that can save us now is a swarm of unsigned chain e-mails.

Thought you might be interested in this information from the White House. This isn't a rumor; this is a fact.

That's reassuring. If you can't trust chain e-mails to tell you the facts, who can you trust?

We have a friend at church who is a very talented artist. For several years she, among many others, has painted ornaments to be hung on the various White House Christmas trees. The WH sends out an invitation to send an ornament and informs the artists of the theme for the year.

She got her letter from the WH recently. It said that they would not be called Christmas trees this year. They will be called Holiday trees. And, to please not send any ornaments painted with a religious theme.

Eeeeek!! Holiday! They said "Holiday!" Henry Ford and Bill O'Reilly were right! The Marxist/Jewish/Fascist/Muslim/Kenyans are planning to destroy Christmas by saying "Holiday."

She was very upset at this development and sent back a reply telling them that she painted the ornaments for Christmas trees and would not be sending any for display that left Christ out of Christmas.

Just thought you should know what the new residents in the WH plan for the future of America. If you missed his statement that "we do not consider ourselves a Christian Nation" this should confirm that he plans to take us away from our religious foundation as quickly as possible.

More eeeeek!!

Sigh. This has already been well debunked, but has been even better distributed. The tree has already been ordered. It will be a called a Christmas tree. It will feature all types of ornaments. The frustrating thing is that, once word gets out that the White House will be celebrating Christmas, the people who believed this nonsense and sent letters to the White House, blogged about it, or just griped and forwarded the e-mail--these same gullible people will believe it was their firm defense of Christmas that forced the Obama's to back down from their grinchly plans to stop Christmas from coming. And, next fall, the same e-mail will start a new round of warning the faithful, the gullible, and the unbudgeable Obama haters.

The last stand

In a last ditch effort to stop Christmas from coming, I have sent a giant kitten down to terrorize this quaint Dickensian village.


I'M UNDER UR TREE DESTROIN' UR VILLIJ

More Wildmon ranting

Donald Wildmon, who I mentioned in the last post whining about this year's Global War on Christmas (GWOC), may not be as well known as Pat Robertson or James Dobson, but he can do fundamentalist crazy talk with the very best. Ed Brayton received an e-mail from him warning about the stakes in this election.

If the liberals win the upcoming election, America as we have known it will no longer exist. This country that we love, founded on Judeo-Christian values, will cease to exist and will be replaced by a secular state hostile to Christianity. This "city set on a hill" which our forefathers founded, will go dark. The damage will be deep and long lasting. It cannot be turned around in the next election, or the one after that, or by any election in the future. The damage will be permanent.

And he says that like it would be a bad thing.

It's that time of year

While most of us have our attention firmly riveted on the election and whatever feelings of excitement, dread, guarded hope, or please-make-it-be-over exhaustion that that might bring up, we may have temporarily forgotten the other national ritual that happens at this time of the year. I'm talking about the annual tantrum that conservative Christians throw over how horribly persecuted they are by an imaginary war on Christmas. The war as they see it has three prongs, local governments acknowledging the constitutional separation of church and state by refusing to pay for an official nativity scene, schools having "holiday" programs without overtly religious music (that constitution thingy again), and stores trying to be inclusive by using greetings like "happy holidays" or "season's greetings." In recent years, the last of those three has been the one that has most provoked their easily offended senses, leading them to proclaim widely ignored boycotts of any store that uses the offensive phrases.

The holiday whine is a tradition that dates back to, at least, 1921 when Henry Ford wrote that there was a conspiracy of Jewish department store owners trying to destroy Christmas by--you guessed it--saying "happy holidays." Forty years later, the John Birch Society was imagining a war on Christmas run by the Communists through the UN. These days, the sinister force trying to make the baby Jesus cry is godless liberals like you and me.

Rob Boston has spotted the first major whine of the season. The Rev. Donald Wildmon of the American Family Association, an organization that specializes in unsuccessful boycotts against any business that even thinks about giving a fair shake to their gay employees, is selling buttons and bumper stickers that say "It's OK To Say Merry Christmas."

The War on Christmas is big business for groups like Wildmon's. Keeping the faithful paranoid about persecution is a cash cow that keeps on giving. If Christians weren't paranoid that someone somewhere was undermining their faith and marriage, they might stop giving to people like Wildmon, Bill Donohue, and James Dobson. Then they'd have to lay off their big staffs and get a real job. We can't have them roaming the streets getting into trouble so we'd better do our best to oppress them. Besides, they are the only thing preventing total victory of our radical atheist, gay, and gay atheist agendas. So, everybody raise your right forefinger, turn toward Mt. Crumpet, and repeat after me, in your best Karloffian tones: "I must stop Christmas from coming!"

And Happy Holidays.

Christmas sets a trap

Having solved all of the problems facing the country, the House of Representatives today will debate whether or not they like Christmas. Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) has introduced a resolution in the House saying Christmas and Christians are important. This just pandering to the Bill O'Reilly war-on-Christmas crowd and a transparent attempt to get some Democrats on record as opposing Christmas, something no one will do. Unfortunately, while most of it is just silly, the resolution has some land mines in it that make it more dangerous than the run of the mill feel-good measure.

Let's look at the full text.

Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians identify themselves as those who believe in the salvation from sin offered to them through the sacrifice of their savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of salvation, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Bible;

Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in Christianity;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God's redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

First, looking through the whereas':

In the fourth whereas (Christians identify themselves...), King apparently hopes to get a statement of faith into the congressional record. It actually makes no grammatic sense in the contest of the resolution. The whereas' are the reasons for the resolution. The first three make logical sense (whereas there are lots of Christians in the country, we support one of their holidays). The fourth does only makes sense as an effort to deny other religions the same support (whereas Christians believe in salvation through Christ, we support their holidays. If they didn't believe that, we wouldn't support them).

The next two whereas' are an effort to get congressional support for a watered down version of the Christian republic form of historical revisionism that is popular among the far Christian right and home-schooling crowd.

The eighth whereas (Christmas is celebrated as a recognition...) returns to trying to get Congress on record actually supporting articles of Christian dogma, not merely the observation of a holiday.

Now, on to the resolution itself:

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

If by "great" King means large, then the point is as meaningless as a resolution recognising the wetness of water. If by "great" he means a value judgment, then who are the not great religions in his opinion?

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

Congress expresses continued support for three quarters of the voters in the United States. That's nice, though pointless. Shouldn't they be more concerned about that support flowing the other direction?

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

This should be the meat of a feel-good resolution, but it goes on.

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

Of course, Christians played a role in the founding of the United States, but this is a more explicit attempt to get the Christian republic historical revisionism on record. The actual wording is harmless enough to allow King deniability, but once passed, this resolution will be mentioned by the revisionists for years to come.

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

Why say Congress is opposed to bigotry and persecution directed against Christians and not mention other groups? On one hand, it plays to the persecution narrative that is epidemic among conservative Christians. On the other hand, it denies support to non-Christians.

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

How nice. Not only does Congress express support for three quarters of the voters in the United States, but it respects them too.

A mere feel-good resolution should be limited to points one, three, and six.
The others all give veiled support to the religious right's world view and political agenda. Unfortunately, the language is veiled enough that most members of congress will miss the point and, in any case, will be afraid to go on record opposing Christmas. The bill is a trap for Democrats and should not be allowed to make it to the floor. Someone was asleep at the wheel to let this happen.

Update: Rep. King won't be there for the vote. He is stranded at the Des Moines airport because of heavy snow and ice storms. Could the will of God (or Santa or Jack Frost or whoever controls winter weather) be any more clear?

How the Grinch saved Christmas

Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly (and I use the word "personality" in its broadest, most ironically tinged, sense) gives himself credit for saving Christmas from "the forces of darkness." The forces of darkness could not be reached for comment.

Wait until Bill hears about this

Bill O'Reilly and the Europe hating Christmas warriors over at Fox News are going to blow a gasket when they hear about this.

A German advent calendar for children has become a hot seller since word got out it has a picture of a notorious serial killer on it.

The cartoon calendar shows Fritz Haarmann, who murdered 24 young men and boys in the 1920s, lurking under a tree with a hatchet next to the door for December 1. Below him, Santa Claus hands out presents to children in a festive-looking Hanover.

The calendar, which raises funds for a charity for children with cancer, is based on the theme of local Hanoverian celebrities and also features the philosopher Gottfried Leibniz and the band The Scorpions. Although this is the second year that calendar has featured Haarmann, it is the first time it has enjoyed this kind of notoriety. The sales are primarily due to the national newspaper Bild which published an article questioning whether the killer's inclusion was in good taste. The charity has been getting orders from all over Germany and Austria and expects the print run to sell out soon. f the Fox News gang joins in and condemns it, they might have an international best seller on their hands.