Give me that old time religion

It's solstice. We here at archy believe in celebrating religious holidays in a traditional manner that respects and keeps alive the values that the holiday was founded to maintain. That's why we will be eating roasted meat, dancing naked around a bonfire, drinking all of last fall's harvest wine, and stealing the neighbors' cattle. But first we have to go picket Wal-Mart because the clerks don't say "have a lusty Alban Heruin."