Book update

Five weeks ago, I sent my completed proposal and polished chapter to an editor who had expressed an interest in it. I haven't heard anything and I've essentially lost hope for that outcome. I know, with fiction manuscripts, it can be months before a response comes back, but I have been told that things are much quicker with non-fiction proposals. So, what's next? I'm going to rework the proposal a little and look into getting an agent.

Problem of the day: One part of the proposal that I need to improve is the biography, which should be approximately the same text that will be used on the book's dust jacket. I have a really lame biography. I have no relevant credentials or experience and no publications. Even claiming I've been interested in mammoths for a long time is a bit of a stretch. I have a small plastic mammoth that I've carried around since kindergarten, but mammoths have only been a big deal for me since around the time I started blogging ten years ago. I am confident that I know more about my topic--history of mammoth knowledge--but, how do I demonstrate my authority. Suggestions?

New mammoth comes with grains of salt

Frozen mammoths are rare. That's why I was excited to hear this morning to that a new one had discovered. Over the last three centuries, only seventy-three frozen mammoths with skin or flesh attached have been reported. Most were only partial--a foot or a piece of skin--some were only seen with nothing being recovered. However, despite being exciting news, there were several things about the story that set off alarms in my head and made me cringe.

First, is the headline and hook to the story: "Russian scientists make rare find of 'blood' in mammoth." The significance of the blood is explained in the story. Semyon Grigoryev, the head of the team examining the mammoth explained:

"When we broke the ice beneath her stomach, the blood flowed out from there, it was very dark. This is the most astonishing case in my entire life. How was it possible for it to remain in liquid form? And the muscle tissue is also red, the colour of fresh meat."

Liquid blood strikes me as more than astonishing; it borders on completely impossible. Thawed blood, yes. Remaining liquid for over ten thousand years surrounded by rock-hard ice and frozen flesh, no. Grigoryev says they found the blood on the underside of the carcass. This means they had already chipped and thawed their way to that spot, that it had already been exposed to heat when he dug into it.

The bit about the color of the meat is pure melodrama. This is something that is said about most discoveries of frozen Pleistocene animals. When Pfitzenmayer and Herz excavated the famous Berezovka mammoth in 1901, they commented on how fresh the meat looked. They also said the smell of the thawed meat was so bad that they could only work short shifts digging it out before they had to run for fresh air.

My second alarm was, perhaps unfairly, the presence of Grigoryev himself. Grigoryev is a partner with disgraced Korean cloner Hwang Woo-suk. Hwang, for those who don't know or remember, is a very skilled scientist whose career imploded in 2005-6 over fraudulent claims that he had cloned human stem cells. Naturally, the liquid blood is being touted as a big step forward in eventually cloning a mammoth. The cloning angle appears in the first sentence of the story.

The presence of Hwang and the cloning frame don't necessarily disqualify Grigoryev. Last year, he announced the discovery of another mammoth, a young male that they named Zhenya. The announcement included a great deal of hype about it being the most complete mammoth ever recovered. At the time I had never heard of Grigoryev. However, despite the hyperbole and his being new to the scene, it appears the discovery was legit. Zhenya was excavated and moved to St. Petersburg where Alexei Tikhonov, an old hand at mammoth research, confirmed that it really is an important find.

The third alarm, for me, is the photograph attached to the story that purports to be an actual shot taken at the excavation. The photo shows a person in cold-weather gear, a surgical mask, and nitrile gloves. The person is down on one knee in front of a large hunk of the mammoth that has already been loaded onto a sled. The person appears to be filling a test-tube and we are left to believe the person is extracting blood from the carcass. The caption reads: "A researcher in Yakutsk on May 13 next to a carcass of a female mammoth found on an island in the Arctic Ocean." A second picture shows a different person's hand holding up a test tube with a few drops of blood in the bottom.

Perhaps I'm being picky, but there's no way that is can actually be a shot of the vignette suggested. Even if they found liquid blood in the mammoth when it was in the ground, it would not have stayed liquid while they excavated that piece of meat and loaded it onto a sled. The site is described as "a remote island in the Arctic Ocean." Despite the sunlight in the picture and news of record Arctic sea ice retreats, it is still very cold up there this time of year and no matter how warm the surface air gets, it remains well below freezing year-round in the permafrost.

Another reason I don't like the picture is the hunk of mammoth behind the researcher. What is that piece? Maybe it's just pareidolia, but it looks like the head and shoulders of the mammoth with its trunk dramatically raised over its head. There is no way the trunk could have stayed in that position while it froze. Maybe it was on its side while it froze? The story makes clear that that was not the case. They say the stomach was in water and the meat of the back and head were eaten by scavengers. So, the mammoth was upright and the scavengers probably got the trunk. That makes this the stomach and a leg, though the shape and position make it had to figure out just how this fits into a complete mammoth. If that is the stomach, where the blood was found, it makes another part of the story hard to understand. The mammoth location is being kept secret, they say, because the researchers don't want anyone else to steal it. If they've already excavated the stomach, they pretty much have the whole mammoth out of the ground. So, again, just what is that hunk of mammoth on the sled?

As a final gripe, let me say why I hate the cloning frame for mammoth stories. Cloning is not the news part of this story and does not belong in the lede sentence. At most, cloning is background material. The news part of the story is the discovery itself. Of those seventy-four frozen mammoth discoveries that I mentioned, this is only the fifth I know of that is a female and this one was the oldest when she died (most reports don't know or don't mention the sex). That is what should be the big deal about this news, not that someone thinks maybe they could possibly attempt to make a clone from this mammoth at some undefined time in the future. If they are able to recover satisfactory material to attempt a clone, that would be a story in its own right. If they made the attempt, that would be another story, whether they were successful or not. And, of course, if they successfully cloned a mammoth or bred a mammelephant, that would be one of the biggest science stories of the century. None of those things have happened. The news here is that a rare old female mammoth has been discovered.

The story is bad science reporting, pure and simple. It's science by press release. It allows sensationalism to bury the real science. Cloning and "will it tell us why they went extinct" stories are lazy and ignorant writing. It's crap and I do not like it. Please stop.

UPDATE - The official press release from North-Eastern Federal University in Yakutsk is a little more detailed and a lot less sensational that the PhysOrg notice. It has a less ridiculous picture and says that most of the mammoth is still in the ground and will stay there until the summer when an international group of mammoth specialists will come look at the site. The cloning angle is barely mentioned and only in the last sentence.

As for the blood, some more details were given about that, "The blood is very dark, it was found in ice cavities below the belly and when we broke these cavities with a poll pick, the blood came running out. Interestingly, the temperature at the time of excavation was -7 to –10°C. It may be assumed that the blood of mammoths had some cryoprotective properties." If that's true, that would be quite an exciting discovery. Mammoth blood did do a better job of carrying oxygen at low temperatures than does the blood of living elephants, but, so far, no one has even suspected the presence of cryoprotective properties. Why should they. We've never had a speck of evidence that mammoths hibernated and we've never found liquid blood in any other frozen carcase. I remain skeptical.

The Halle unicorn

In the southern parts of the German speaking lands the earth produced amazing things. It was not uncommon for brewers, storing their beer in cool caves, to come across the skulls of enormous bears or miners to bring up pieces of brown coal with the images of leaves miraculously pressed into them. In 1577 an oak tree near Luzern was knocked over in a storm and beneath its roots were revealed bones which the famous surgeon Felix Platter asserted were those of a man nineteen feet tall. In 1605 a horn of extraordinary size and beauty was discovered in the ground near the Free City of Halle in Swabia.

The horn could have been sold. There were many buyers for such oddities. This was not an unusual fate for something unique. Many churches had collections of unusual objects that were brought out on holy days to impress the parishioners with God's majestic and mysterious ways. In time, weather and handling would destroy such objects--there was a moral lesson in that, too. The Halle horn was different. Some cleric or town father decided that it was special enough that they arranged for a permanent display; it was placed in a frame of iron that was hoisted up high in the church of St. Michael above the town market. There, no one could damage it.

The Halle horn. Source.

Near the frame, they posted a poem:

Tausend Sechshundert und Fünff Jahr,
Den Dreyzehend Febuarii ich gefunden war,
Bey Neubronn an dem Hällischen Land,
Um Bühler Fluss zur lincken Hand,
Samt grossen Knochen und lang Gebein,
Sag Lieber, was Arth ich mag seyn.

One thousand six hundred and five years,
The thirteenth of February I was found,
At Neubronn in the Hall country,
On the left bank of the Bühler River,
With me were large bones and long bones,
Tell me dear, what might I be.

I doubt that it was a serious question with big cash prizes. The poem was just a bit of fun. The frame made clear what the correct answer was. It was a unicorn horn.

In those years, the learned men of Europe had begun questioning the reality of the unicorn as an animal. No one had ever seen or captured a unicorn. Biblical and Classical scholars questioned whether the word unicorn in ancient texts really meant the same thing as the animal pictured in Medieval bestiaries. Dutch and Portuguese travellers brought back descriptions of the rhinoceros, an animal that could convincingly be argued to have been the source of the legends.

What was less questioned was the existence of the substance called unicorn horn. No apothecary's kit was complete with out a good supply of powdered unicorn horn. It had 1001 uses. The most important was as a protection against and an antidote to poison. Although the heyday of Renaissance poisoning was past, anyone who was anyone still had someone who wanted them dead and it was better to be safe than dead. Over the years, many substances had been marketed as real unicorn horn. Unscrupulous doctors had been
known to grind up teeth and bones and even chalk and market it as the real thing. The learned professors were not sure what true unicorn horn was. Some said it was the strangely twisted tooth of a kind of whale found near Greenland and Iceland. Others said it was a kind of subterranean ivory called "unicornu fossili" or "ebur fossili" that was dug up in southern Germany. You can guess which position was favored in around Swabian Halle.

Taking all that into consideration, maybe the riddle was serious as well as playful. Look again at the frame. The two unicorns in the ironwork have long thin and straight horns as different as possible from the wide horn that curls around them. Maybe the unicorns are not the answer but, rather, a hint. The correct answer is not "a unicorn's horn;" it's "unicorn horn." The medicinal properties of unicorn horn are acknowledged by the metaphorical figure on the right who holds the Rod of Asclepius, the serpent encircled baton that symbolizes healing. The allegorical figure to the left of the horn holds a celestial sphere, possibly signifying the astrological element that was still believed to be an important part of healing.*

The horn was still there over a century later. St Michaels survived a siege during the Thirty Years War and it survived two major city fires that destroyed over a third of the city. During the rebuilding that followed the fire of 1728, many pieces of unicornu fossile were dug up. This got Friedrich Hoffman, a professor at the university and the German who identified German measles, thinking about the ivory. By Hoffman's time the belief in the medicinal power of unicornu fossili was on it's way out.

When he wrote down his thoughts a few years after the fire, Hoffman was writing the final chapter on unicorn horn. He wrote a review of the literature of the previous century and gave himself the task of figuring out just what unicornu fossili had been. His conclusion was that it had been many things. He was inclined to think much of it had been jokes of nature, objects formed inside the earth that mimicked the appearance of bones, shells, and human artifacts. He also concluded that some real elephant ivory had been found in Germany and elsewhere Ernst Tenzel had identified beyond any doubt the skeleton of an elephant found at Burgtonna thirty years earlier. The ivory found in Russia called "mammont" was also most likely from elephants. And, despite it's extreme curve, he was sure the horn in St. Michael's was also an elephant's tusk.

The Michaelskirche Mammutzahn today. Source.

The church of St. Michael has survived three more centuries. Though the industrial revolution mostly bypassed Halle and thousands of her citizens emigrated, the church was never allowed to fall into disrepair. Even though the Allies bombed the nearby rail station and Luftwaffe base, the old town was mostly spared. Today tourism helps maintain the church. And the horn is still there. Though it is clarly a mommoth horn. the town hasn't given up on its unicorn heritage. Halle is home to a American style football team. The name of the team is the Unicorns.

* If anyone can help with the other two symbols or any other aspects of the allegorical figures, let me know. 

Sylvia Browne is the worst person in the world

I think the story of the three women in Cleveland who were rescued after ten years of captivity is pretty wonderful in a "wonderful relief after being pretty horrible" sort of way. In looking for some instant background to fill out their stories, most of the press has mentioned the fact that Amada Berry's mother died a few years after she vanished, brokenhearted, believing her daughter was dead. If they had followed that sideline a little further they would have discovered a truly disgusting element in it.

Like any parent, Louwana Miller was desperate for any news about her daughter, any tiny glimmer of hope. When all the authorities could tell he was that they were still hunting, she eventually turned to less orthodox sources for information and encouragement. A year and a half after Amanda's disappearance  Louwana Miller appeared on an episode of Montel Williams’ syndicated talk show with the self-proclaimed psychic, Sylvia Browne. In front of the live and broadcast audiences, Browne told Miller, "She’s not alive, honey."

Miller was devastated  She took down her daughter's pictures, cleaned out her room, and gave away many of her belongings. When she died a few years later, her friends said it was of a broken heart.

Browne is a complete and utter fraud. Every year she plays the odds by predicting that some Hollywood couple will have marital problems and that there be hurricanes during the hurricane season, along with some other vague predictions. At the beginning of the following year, she cherry picks the two or three things she guessed right and announces them as proof of her amazing powers. Most of the time, this is pretty harmless entertainment. Other times it's a cruel deception. This was one of those times.

Browne was, once again, playing the odds. In the majority of cases, abductees are killed within a few days of their disappearance  The longer they are missing, the closer the odds of their safe return approach zero. Missing teenagers are often runaways and can turn up months or years later. But, the abduction Gina DeJesus from the same location a year later made it extremely likely that she had been the victim of a serial killer and that both women had been raped, killed, and buried in shallow graves. Browne played the odds. In this case, she could be confident that time would prove her guess correct, that her bluntness could be portrayed as a tough love type of kindness in telling Amanda's mother to stop mourning and get on with her life.

This time, Browne's gamble didn't pay off. She needs to pay the casino and she needs pay big. Sylvia Browne is not just a fraud, she's a callous and cruel fraud and needs to be labeled as such. Today, Sylvia Browne is the worst person in the world.

MiniScopes: Oklahoma is not OK edition

This one is less of a debunking than it is picking apart a FaceBook meme. A conservative friend in Alaska put this one up today. It's supposed to be showing how Oklahoma is a conservative paradise. I was halfway through it before I realized the writer's purpose wasn't showing how Oklahoma is a conservative nuthouse for us to point at and laugh.

Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election... While everyone is focusing on Arizona’s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!!
An update from Oklahoma:

Arizona? I thought we were all still focussed on Boston and terrorism. I guess I wasn't paying that much attention this week. Which Arizona law? The "No Gun Left Behind" bill or some other? There are so many dumb Arizona laws to focus on these days. Oh well. Once more into the breach my friends!

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9 an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! HB 1330. Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.

This has been ruled unconstitutional over and over and will cost the taxpayers of Oklahoma hundreds of thousands--if not millions--of dollars to find out that it's still unconstitutional.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake. Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.

This will be completely unworkable and expensive to attempt. How exactly are they going to deport all the "illegal immigrants" they round up? Oklahoma law ends at the Oklahoma state line. They'll need federal help to move their prisoners any further. Oh, I suppose Rick Perry might agree to ship them across Texas and dump them in Mexico. I suppose Mexico would have to repatriate Mexican citizens. What about non-Mexicans? Rick Perry is not going to let Oklahoma dump them is Texas. Without federal help, they're not going to ship them any further than one of the surrounding red states. Does the new law suppose the taxpayers of Oklahoma will spring for tickets to fly each prisoner back to his or her home country? And, while we're on the subject of cost, where will they incorporate all their prisoners? They're going to need to build some new jails.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegal's (sic) to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional SB 1102

They might be able to get around the constitutional right to privacy if they take the time to try and convict each prisoner, which would be expensive and time consuming. And, no matter how low the cost of DNA testing becomes, it will always cost something.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas, Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.
More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Carolina's (sic), Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi and Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

Oh boy, nullification and a threat of secession. Didn't we fight a civil war over this? Wasn't Oklahoma on the losing side in that one? (Spoiler: Yes and Yes) Assuming we don't choose to bomb them into submission (again), how good for their economy is it going to be when the Union removes all of its military bases, fires all the federal employees, and bills Oklahoma for its share of the national debt?

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a setback for the criminals  The Liberals didn't like it -- But....Guess what........... Oklahoma did it anyway.

What "bold steps to take away [your] guns"? The toothless background check amendment that didn't pass? The right to bear arms is still protected by the Constitution and doesn't need extra state laws to stay that way. Without a new Constitutional amendment, the most aggressive thing we liberals can do is debate just what the existing Second Amendment means and what reasonable limits can be placed on it. And both are legitimate subjects of debate.

Just this month, the state has voted and passed a law that ALL drivers’ license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of the road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma, you must read and write English. Really simple.

Go outside and look at some traffic signs. The great majority of them are either symbols or place names. Every license exam I've ever seen requires prospective drivers to know the signs. Its not that hard for non-English speakers to learn to recognize a few dozen phrases without being fluent in English. I can read the menus well enough to order in a dozen languages even though I can only speak English. You don't want us to call it racist? Fine, we'll call it xenophobic, nativist, or any other synonym for bigoted. If the sheet fits, wear it.

By the way, the Liberals don't like any of this either
Guess what...who cares... Oklahoma is doing it anyway.
If you like it, pass it on, if you don't then delete it...Thanks
Guess what: the people I'm sending this to will send it on. Well, at least the ones who love and believe in freedom will.

It must be nice to live in a state with enough money laying around that they can take on the extra expenses of attempting to carry out these laws and fight the inevitable court challenges.  But....Guess what........... They don't have money laying around. Oklahoma is just another deadbeat red state. For every dollar the pay to federal government, they take $1.36 (2005 figures). Who pays the difference? We liberal producers in the blue states have to subsidize the lazy moochers in the red states.

At least it must be nice to live in a state where all the state's problems are solved giving the legislature free time to waste passing unenforceable, unworkable, unconstitutional, and mostly symbolic laws.

It's amazing how much the modern conservative movement is based on spite. Just last week, a study was released showing that conservatives will be less likely to buy something, that they would otherwise have bought, if you say it's good for the environment  Reread the Oklahoma bragging points again; almost all of them list offending someone--the ACLU, the feds, pelosi, liberals--as a positive point. No matter how wrong headed an idea is, if they think it will offend some imaginary liberal, they're for it. Along with refusing to accept that they lost the last election, spite is one of their primary motivations.

I will give the writer one thing, he or she is not so lacking in self-awareness that they'll claim to be American patriots or "constitutional conservatives." They are neither. Spite is more important than either of those ideas. They are perfectly happy to celebrate unconstitutional actions and even suggest treason if it means getting their way and offending liberal strawmen.

Let me suggest a new slogan for them: Oklahoma--We'll wipe our butts with the Constitution if we think it will offend a liberal.