archy

Al Franken is a lying liar
As a bleeding heart liberal, it breaks my heart to have to be the one to point it out. Oh sure, a scoop like this could be the break that elevates me from the ranks of the insignificant bloggers to the dizzying heights of the not-quite-insignificant bloggers. But does that make up for a broken heart? Yet I cannot be silent. The evidence is right here in front of me in black and white, Franken’s own words in—oh, irony of ironies—Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. On page 51 he calls Family Circus “funny and heartwarming.”

Al is a funny man. He knows funny when he sees it. Al knows Family Circus hasn’t been funny since before Spiro Agnew was a felon. How funny can it be to repeat the same two jokes (“not me” and isn’t it cute when kids mispronounce words) decade after decade from one century into the next.

Why would Al do such a thing? Why would Al say such a thing? The only possible explanation is that he’s secretly working for the other side. He must be mole, sent here to discredit the left. I’d like to think that he’s not a willing conspirator. Maybe they’re blackmailing him. Maybe they have his long lost twin sister in captivity somewhere. Maybe this is a cry for help. I’d like to think so.