Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Killer chipmunks? KILLER CHIPMUNKS!!

A horde of killer Russian chipmunks, hundreds of thousands strong, is terrorizing the British countryside and the authorities are helpless to stop them. That fine journalistic source The Sun has the story.
VICIOUS killer chipmunks that escaped from a British park four years ago have never been found - and could now have bred into a horde thousands strong, The Sun can reveal.

The news will confirm experts' worst fears that the disease-ridden rodents, which are plaguing northern France, have already established themselves in numbers here.

About 30 of the deadly critters went on the run from Wellington Country Park on the Hampshire/Berkshire border in 2005.

Eighteen died and eight more were found or shot - but disturbingly FOUR remained free.

The BBC has tried to diminish the threat by interviewing "scientists," but the Beeb has ties to government and is clearly trying to drown out those citizens who have sounded the alarm for purposes of the administration.

Russia has a small nuclear arsenal designed for the specific purpose of dealing with threats from Russia. It would be an easy matter to deal with this treat by vaporizing Berkshire. However, that option creates the risk of creating a horde of radioactive, mutant, killer chipmunks which, while totally awesome, would be a bit disconcerting for those living near the former Berkshire.

Fortunately, we're safe. Our swarms of deadly killer bees and escaped pythons would make short work of killer chipmunks.

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