Sarah Palin had a press conference earlier today to announce that she is retiring as governor of Alaska in three weeks. Like her fellow Republican governor, Mark Sanford, she managed to babble her way through more than half of her time before finally getting to the point. It was vintage Palin, a mixture of faux folksiness, self-congratulation (look at all the stuff I did and how I stood up to all those people who were mean to me) and whining (you won't hear any of that in yer mainstream media, also). She managed to wrap herself in her children and whine once more about the people who picked on them. She said the best way she can end the same old politics and help hardworking, average Joe Sixpacks, sittin' around their kitchen tables, in this great land of ours, supportin' the troops and worryin' about the liberal media and activist judges and special interests who think they know better that real Americans how to protect our amazing freedoms, is by bein' a maverick and rejectin' politics as usual by workin' outside big government, by golly, 'cause she's not a quitter and that's why she's quittin' the same old politics as usual, also. She didn't say what she's going to do outside the government and how that's going to support freedom.
This fits in perfectly with her high-school princess personality. She got the title and the attention she wanted, but now it's hard work and not as fun as she thought it would be, so she's going to leave and chase after the next shiny thing. No doubt, she'll show us what a good mother she is and how much she supports family values by pulling the kids out of school and having Willow look after Trig while she races around the country performing her populist act before rabid crowds of teabaggers. Winking at resentful, but adoring libertarians gets her much more of the kind of attention she so pathetically craves. Maybe she can have feud with Paris Hilton. If we're lucky, maybe this flakiness will come back to haunt her in the 2012 primaries.
I have have to agree with her on one thing, though: this is what's best for Alaska. I wish I could be sure that having her down here was good for America.