Stop the madness

New five dollar bills went into circulation today. Honest Abe now appears on a lavender background and a big purple five is in on corner on the reverse side. Basically, it's the same style as the larger denominations. The choice of lavender as Lincoln's color will, no doubt, bring on a new round of speculation about his sexual preferences. I expect the religious right will boycott the new bills and Fred Phelps will set up camp outside the Treasury. They are completely off base about the color. It has nothing to do with the radical homosexual agenda. It's far worse. Obviously, this color redesign is part of a creeping Canadian conspiracy to destroy our national identity. Let's add a little more color--or should I say "colour"--to your greenbacks, eh? Colorizing our money is the thin end of the wedge, the slippery slope, the camel's nose. After this, they'll go for our type-A personalities, then comes bilingual signage, national healthcare, and finally the mark of the beast itself--the metric system!!!