We were here first

New research indicates that the Neanderthals were pale skinned redheads. At least some of them were. This is just one more piece of evidence that supports my theory that the first people were Scots-Irish and that the rest of you are living on our planet due to our good nature and generous spirit.

Some Neanderthals may have had fair skin and red hair, giving them an appearance resembling modern Europeans, an international team of researchers said on Thursday.

The researchers homed in on the MC1R gene linked to hair and skin color and used DNA analysis to find a variation that produced the same kind of pigmentation changes as in humans with red hair and pale skin.

The study, published in the journal Science, comes a week after another set of researchers looking at a different gene said Neanderthals may have been capable of sophisticated speech.

See, sophisticated speech. That means they were redheads who could curse. Now all we need is evidence of whiskey, maudlin folk songs, or lumpy oatmeal to confirm that my people were here first.