I'm number one and you are, too

David Ng at The World's Fair has created a great meme. He calls it the "I rank number one on Google" meme. The rules are much simpler than the last meme. Find five statements, which when typed into Google, will return your blog as the number one hit.

So far I have found four on archy but, taken together, I think they display such synergistic power that they are worth at least six and a third.

1. "Nazi Yeti in flying saucers"
   
2. "Nazi mammoth"
   
3. "frozen mammoth penis"
   
4. "nude photos of Ann Coulter"

As you can see, I run a classy and very intellectual blog.

I am rather cheesed to find out that I am not number one for "balloonosphere" since I invented that word.

So, dear friends, what search terms give you a number one?