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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Mangled metaphors

I think we have a contestant for the worst metaphor of the year.

Laura Sessions Stepp is a lifestyles editor for the Washington Post. She has written a new book called Hooking Up, in which she tut-tuts for 288 pages about the loose morals of modern girls who don't save it for marriage. According to this review, she raises all of the old talking points about the female body as a commodity that can be devalued by too much use, worries about the long term psychological effects of youthful promiscuity (only in women), throws in a good dose of shame, and finishes with a letter to young women that includes this gem:

Your body is your property. . . . Think about the first home you hope to own. You wouldn't want someone to throw a rock through the front window, would you?

Let me see, any sex is the equivalent of a violent act of destruction and should only be allowed to your loving life partner, right?

Obviously, I'm not the only one puzzled by this metaphor. Other writers have tried to improve on it.

Kriston at Grammar.Police:

Your body is your property. . . . Think about the first home you hope to own. If you're ever in a bind you can always take out a mortgage.

Matthew Yglesias:

Your body is your property. . . . Think about the first home you hope to own. You want to have a big party and invite all your friends over.

Commenter Gussie at Grammar.Police:

Your body is your property. . . . Think about the first home you hope to own. Don't you want the pizza guy to deliver?

Commenter Gussie at Matthew Yglesias:

Defenestration never sounded so hawt!

I’m sure you guys can do better.

Labels: bad writing

posted by John at 10:53 AM |