Almost as cool as the Junior Woodchucks

I was a lifer in the Cub Scouts and went further than it is even possible to go nowadays (there were four levels them, but only three last time I looked). I tried the Boy Scouts, but they beat me up, so I quit. I've applied for membership in the Order Of The Science Scouts Of Exemplary Repute And Above Average Physique*, an organization whose main function seems to be awarding merit badges to science geeks. Maybe this will wipe out the trauma and shame of my retreat from the BSA without any badges.

So far, I think I'm already entitled to:

• The "talking science" badge
  
• The "I blog about science" badge
  
• The "arts and crafts" badge
  
• The "I'm pretty confident around an open flame" badge
  
• The "inappropriate nocturnal use of lab equipment in the name of alternative science experimentation / communication" badge
  
• The "sexing up science" badge
  
• The "I can be a prick when it comes to science" badge
  
• The "will glady kick sexual harasser's ass" badge
  
• The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL I)
  
• The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL II - dry ice)
  
• The "I work with way too much radioactivity, and yet still no discernable superpowers yet" badge
  
• The "I've done science with no concievable practical application" badge
  
• The "I know what a tadpole is" badge
  
• The "experienced with electrical shock" badge (LEVEL I - shocker)
  
• The "experienced with electrical shock" badge (LEVEL III - shockee)

I'm working on:

• The "MacGyver" badge

* I feel safe claiming a right to join as long as they don't actually define the average physique against which we're being measured.