archy

Honors for Don
Don Young is, sadly, Alaska's only congressman. He has been a self inflicted embarrassment on the state for over thirty years. I've never been one to miss an opportunity to insult old Don, so I'm pleased to see that some national media have noticed Don this week and decided to recognize his accomplishments in the House.

The latest issue of Rolling Stone has Don down as the third worst member of congress, following Hastert and Sensenbrenner, but ahead of such luminaries as Tom Tancredo, Richard Pombo, and Curt Weldon. The Rolling Stone profile focuses on Don's recent notoriety as a shameless pork-barrel politician and crude buffoon, particularly his packing last year's transportation bill with earmarks like the "bridge to nowhere" and telling reporters who suggested that the money might be reassigned to Katrina reconstruction that they could "kiss my ear!" The problem with the profile is that, by focusing on his porking prowess, they neglected evidence that he might really be as stupid as he looks and sounds.

The profile in Radar Magazine didn't neglect that evidence. In fact, it was the entire reason Don was number two on their list of the ten dumbest members of congress. For over thirty years I've said Don was the stupidest person in congress, so I was a little surprised to see him only managing second place. Don's offensive stupidity is a matter of pride for some Alaskans. Then I saw who took first place: Katherine Harris. If for no other reason, Harris' current run for the Senate earns her a place of honor in the idiot congressperson's hall of fame. Harris' campaign has lost more than 25 senior staff and consultants this year and is currently being run by two fichus plants and an autographed picture of Mamie van Doren.

Don doesn't need to worry. Harris' is the type of stupidity that burns itself out in one horrifying conflagration. Don's is the sort that endures. Next Year, Harris will be gone and Don will be secure in his title as the stupidest once again. There can only be one.