Saturday, December 17, 2005

Looking at my statistics, I noticed that someone arrived from Google using the search terms "stores requiring happy holidays." I'm the number two response. Since I'm so high on the list, I suppose I have a responsibility to make clear my stand on this impotant issue. So to anyone worried about stores requiring their employees to say "Happy Holidays" let me say this: GROW UP YOU INSUFFERABLE CRYBABIES. Just because every downtrodden, minimum-wage worker you run into during the day isn't required to affirm the doninance of your religion does not mean you are oppressed.

There are far more important issues to worry about. Hundereds of millions go to bed hungry, cold, sick, and despairing every night. Thousands don't survive the night. The President of the United States thinks he can ignore law and the constitution and many influential people support him in this criminal delusion. Congress passed a law saying we don't have to give people a trial or even tell them why we have imprisoned them as long as they are foreigners. Polar bears and tigers will probably be extinct in forty years. An embarassing number of children don't know that Alaska is part of the United States, think Joan of Arc was Noah's wife, and can't read a rental contract or balance their checkbooks, yet hundreds of schoolboards think the most important issues they can deal with are tinkering with the words to the Pledge of Alligence and ensuring that kids get exposed to people who think ancient Israelis rode around on dinosaurs. Southern Louisiana is sinking into the ocean. Every generation of kids has more asthma and diabetes than the one before. The Vice-President and Attorney General think the executive branch should be able to order someone tortured whenever they want.

I think Jesus the carpenter would dope-slap anyone arrogant enough to think not hearing the words "Merry Christmas" is the most important issue our civilization faces.

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