archy

Reptilian kitten-eaters
I’m sure it will come as a surprise to some that Canada has elections. What with their universal health care, gun laws, and lack of support for our President’s war on Iraqi terrorists, it would seem obvious that Canada is a communist dictatorship of the worst kind. Amazingly, that’s not true. They have meaningful elections and what’s more, their elections are more fun than ours.

As proof of that last point I offer the press release that Ontario Tory’s sent out Friday accusing the Liberal leader, Dalton McGuinty, of being “an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet." (This is, I guess, as opposed to being a good reptilian kitten-eater from another planet.) The Conservative Leader, Ernie Eves, refused to apologize, but promised to limit the amount of caffeine that the staff would be allowed in the future.

This is the first I have heard about evil reptilian aliens being active in Ontario politics, but not the first mention I have seen of evil reptilian aliens in positions of power. David Icke, who was briefly a BBC sportscaster and the British Green Party's spokesman, before discovering he is the messiah and the world is ruled by seven-foot tall, shape-changing, blood-sucking, Masonic reptiles.

Most of Icke’s version of The Conspiracy (as documented in a series of self published books) is fairly unoriginal, much of it right out of Protocols of the Elders of Zion. In a 1995 book he claimed:

I strongly believe that a small Jewish clique which has contempt for the mass of Jewish people worked with non-Jews to create the First World War, the Russian Revolution, and the Second World War....They then dominated the Versailles Peace Conference and created the circumstances which made the Second World War inevitable. They financed Hitler to power in 1933 and made the funds available for his rearmament.

He rants at the usual suspects: the Illuminati, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, gun control, and microchip implants. But in the late nineties he took a step further into the twilight zone and brought out the extraterrestrial angle. Most of the real rulers of the world are part of this hidden race. He specifically names the entire Bush family, Bill and Hilary Clinton, Queen Elizabeth, the Bilderberger group, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie.

To be fair, Icke is probably mentally ill. His story of how he found the truth is filled with references to becoming aware of other intelligences around him, voices revealing secrets, and energies taking control of his body.

Mad or not, he has made quite an industry out his belief. He sells books and tapes through his numerous websites. He travels and lectures widely in the English-speaking world. His followers are well organized and have made alliances with other outsider groups. Will Offley of Public Eye has documented how Icke’s leading Canadian supporters overlap with some of the most extreme militia and holocaust denier crowds in that country.

It's possible that the "kitten-eating" accusation is not just election fun and games. It may be that the Ontarrio Torys have an Icke follower in their ranks. If this is the source of the Tory press release, then the Ontario Conservative Party has a far more serious problem than excessive caffeine consumption in their ranks.