Most mornings these days I wake up to the sound of crows quacking. They also make normal crow noises, but for some reason they seem to greet the dawn with quacks. I was pondering this the other day and remembered reading—more than once—that some urban birds imitate the sounds of car alarms. Every time I see this fact, it is presented as an example of evolution at work; look at the amazing adaptability of these birds. I suppose it’s interesting, but why are the birds doing it? Do they really expect Lexus’ and SUVs to answer their mating calls? Would a starling really know what to do with a Miata if one did answer? I think these birds are on the fast track to extinction.